Feel.

There is an immediate draw to a plan that promises you quick weight loss with no exercise. The plan promises you that you will not be hungry. It promises you quick results.You sign up. You want to know more. You find out that many of the people there are having such fast losses. You want that, too.

Told to follow those with the best successes, you strive to emulate those successes. To make them your own.

You are hungry for a few days, but that goes away. Now you feel high. Happy. Light. You are eating 1200 calories a day and you don’t feel a thing.

The loss slows. You know you could probably do with a little less. You could cut a little here, shear a little there. You feel a little bit of hunger, but this time, it is only for a day. That leaves you quickly. You are eating 900 calories a day and you don’t feel a thing.

Your loss slows. You feel perhaps that you have cut back on your fiber too much, and read that others are using laxatives in different forms to keep things moving. You use this. It works. You decide that you will use this method every time you feel uncomfortable. Now you can cut back your caloric intake further. Those in the boot camp program are allowed up to 500 calories a day. You change. You conform. You are now eating 500 calories a day and you don’t feel a thing.

Your loss slows. It is said that you are eating too much because you are not exercising like the people in boot camp. You know you must be weak to not try harder. You must not want this bad enough. So you shift. You change things. Just a little. Just a smidge. Light as a feather, feeling high in your mind. No one notices your hair is brittle. It wouldn’t matter. You are now eating 300 calories a day and you don’t feel a thing.

Your loss slows. You feel palpitations occasionally as though your heart is fluttering. Your family has noticed. Your friends worry. You have made changes. You are strong in your mind, and others wouldn’t understand. They are not strong like you are. You will show them. You are now eating 200 calories a day and you are exercising. And you don’t feel a thing.

You don’t feel a thing.

The coroner pronounced you dead at 2:34 am this morning. You suffered a heart attack because your body consumed the muscles of your heart for energy, and your body could no longer sustain itself. Your mother sobs in the corner. Your daughter stands, glassy-eyed, holding your cold hand. She is four, and she doesn’t understand.

And you don’t feel a thing.